Chapter 05: Dick Move

The one where I made you ask.

ILLUSTRATION BY JASON SCHNEIDER


Editor’s note: In the late 2000s, John Korpics was the creative director at Fortune. He lived with his wife and kids way the hell up in Westchester County. Given his long commute, and being the industrious type, he decided to put that dreadful time to use. This column is what he came up with.


I’d like to apologize to all the folks who got on the train at White Plains this morning. I pulled a classic dick move.

I was sitting in a two-seater and I was sort of half asleep and leaning over into the other seat, eyes closed, when the doors at White Plains opened. Instead of sitting up straight and making the seat readily available, I just kept my eyes closed and stayed in position.

Truly a dick move.

It pains me to admit that my commute does sometimes bring out the worst in me, but there it is. I’ll never pretend I’m something I’m not.

Now, if someone taps me on the shoulder and asks me to make a little room, I absolutely do it, no hesitation. But every once in a while—and it’s really not very often—I just sit there and make you ask.

I know it’s hard, and I know the average person will take a look at me and decide it’s not worth it and move on to the next seat. But if they screw up some courage and take what is rightfully theirs, well then they earned the seat and my respect at the same time.

If you’re ever on the train and you see some a-hole with his eyes closed enjoying more than his share of a two seater, do the right thing: Take what’s yours. On the train, and in life.

Have a good weekend everyone.


ORIGINALLY POSTED ON FRIDAY, 16 OCTOBER 2009 © JOHN KORPICS


John Korpics is VP/Executive Creative Director at Harvard Business Review. He has served as the design lead at Entertainment Weekly, Esquire, ESPN, Fortune, InStyle, and many other major newsstand magazines. His current commute is much effing easier.

Jason Schneider is a beloved Toronto-based editorial illustrator.


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